


This is how love feels like

by Helpless04



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bottom Ash Lynx, Consent Issues, Crying During Sex, Declarations Of Love, Laughter During Sex, M/M, Safe Sane and Consensual, Self-Indulgent, Sweet love making, Top Okumura Eiji, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 15:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helpless04/pseuds/Helpless04
Summary: Ash feels envy of those who know how making love feels like. EijiAsh (NSFW)





	This is how love feels like

It was one of those privileged afternoons, one in which Eiji could observe Ash being a normal teenager again. He had the rare chance to be calm and careless of a bullet piercing his forehead at any moment.

He had convinced his friend to take a break, to take a few hours for them.

The plan was conceived and they had the protection of their small group of trusted people to patrol the streets.

One afternoon, only for them.

They had enjoyed those hours like two ordinary teenagers, ate junk food without control and laughed at their silly stories until the sun fell through the windows of the small apartment they shared.

They laid relaxed on a sofa, carefree and merely "concentrated" on television.

It was a silly romantic movie to which they were not exactly paying attention, they preferred to use their valuable time in cuddling and snuggling in each other's arms, they didn't know if there would be another opportunity to enjoy time together.  
Eiji was resting on Ash's chest, hearing firsthand the beating of his heart, he loved being caressed quietly like this, both under a warm blanket and enjoying the contact of his brushing legs.

Their eyes met for a moment, both smiling foolishly, relaxed and happy. The atmosphere became ethereal when they were together.

Ash's eyes glowed like those of a man in love, the lighting of the TV made him look even more beautiful, his lips, even more inviting, so much physical contact made easy to think that maybe it would be the day they would kiss for the second time, their first one without excuses.

They closed their eyes in unison, understanding what the other wanted, approaching timidly to join their lips in the privacy of their little world.

The blond caressed the lips of the Japanese anticipating the action, drawing a soft curve with sweetness, holding the back of his neck to give him the courage to get closer, but a sound interrupted them before the first contact.

"Ah!" A passionate feminine moan rumbled the apartment.

It was a sex scene, a very uncomfortable sex scene.

It was the protagonists of the movie, a young couple, blushing and happy. They seemed to love each other deeply and the chemistry between them was evident. They smiled with a naked heart, laughing between kisses, moans, and caresses.

It seemed like they were really enjoying the heat of their lover even if the act was not as explicit as it could be, since the transmission schedule, already just for adults.

The girl was locked in the arms of that boy, lost in the gentle swing of his hips, holding his face as if they needed to breathe, receiving the touch of his beloved with such adoration that caused envy.

Was that what people called "Making love"?

"Wow," Ash muttered observing the television, slightly releasing the grip on his friend. "They look happy," Eiji commented blushing at the sounds that the passionate couple emitted, hiding once more in the safety of his friend's neck. 

"Yes...They do." The blond answered with a somber look. "I never experienced that, I think I have some envy of the people who could decide..." He mumbled in a low voice.

"Ash," the afflicted Japanese said.

"I'm sorry, it was not my intention to make you feel uncomfortable, let's go to the bedroom?" The younger asked, stroking his friend's head in a comforting sign.

Eiji's eyes looked at him with concern, having thousands of thoughts running through his mind, not really knowing what to say to help.

  "Ash..." He tried again, sounding physically sore.

"I-I mean, we'll go to sleep." His hand went with some violence towards his hair, frustrated and nervous about having stuttered, it was obvious that they would go only to rest, he was an idiot.

Eiji got up carefully, allowing his friend to stand up, seemed very concerned by the scene, he would not force him to speak, but his heart had twisted with anguish at that look of pain, their afternoon together had been so beautiful that he hated that the ghosts of the past had attacked him again in such a sorrowful way.

They crawled under the blankets without speaking or looking at each other, moving quickly away to their own world, mired in the silence and tension of those words.

"I never experienced that."

"I never experienced that." Of course not, Ash. The incompetence of the adults in your care took away what rightfully belonged to you, a happy childhood, a healthy adolescence and the consent to decide who you wanted to touch you.

Love, experience, growth, confidence.

 The night passed slowly for both of the teens, moving painfully in their beds, they knew that they should talk about it sooner or later since the room seemed to have run out of air since that conversation.

"Ash" Eiji mumbled turning around.  
"Eiji," Said the blonde at the same time.  
"You first" Motivated the Japanese.  
"I'm sorry," said the desolate blonde while hugging himself in a pathetic attempt to comfort himself.  
"Why do you apologize?" Asked the black haired worried.  
"To say silly things in front of you" His body had trembled when he said the word "silly", a gesture that did not go unnoticed by his friend.  
"Ash, how can you believe that it is something silly? and don't apologize please, you know that I'll never judge you." He answered hurt.

"Never? Why?" Asked the taller one confused.

"You know why, Ash." Sentenced with a vulnerable smile.

"Yeah, I know" He murmured smiling "Only for now?" The mafia boss asked in a fragile and doubtful voice.

"Forever," Eiji repeated gently.

Silence invaded their room again, hearts synchronized knowing perfectly, that feeling that was bigger than both, impossible to hide, born before they realized it and the one that makes you felt like home. As if it was simply the way it should be.

"Do you want to come to my arms, big baby?" The Japanese murmured after some seconds, giggling slowly.

"Onii-chan will comfort me?" He answered in a mock voice, slightly defying.

"I can try it." He answered looking at him with gentleness.

Ash felt his cheeks burn. "You were taking a long to invite me."

The blond climbed onto the mattress, trembling a bit, wearing a lovely, embarrassed gesture, sinking his knees to keep his balance, settling down with some nervousness next to the older one, feeling his body heat even through his pajamas.

"Can I hug you?" Asked extending his arms to the American.

"Just caress me already." He nodded with a pout, allowing himself to be embraced by the Japanese, facing each other, united by the gentle grip on his waist.

"How are you feeling?" Eiji mumbled, lightly stroking the lower back of the boy in his arms.

"Peaceful, even...happy" Ash declared, joining their foreheads with a slight blush on the cheeks.

"Can I touch your hair?"

"Stop asking me obvious things, onii-san."

"It's not obvious, Ash. You can always tell me no, please, trust me when things get uncomfortable."

A hearty smile escaped from the American's lips, feeling his hair leaving his face so gentle that it almost hurt, letting his hands go their way to be held by the kindness of the fingers of the Japanese.

"It will be bad if you won't stop being so adorable, Ei-chan." He murmured covering his lips with the back of his hand.

"Why, Boss?"

"I may want to steal more of your kisses." He retorted flirty, brushing their noses from one side to the other.

Eiji smiled.

"And what stops you from getting what you want, bad boy?"  
"The Japanese puppy is challenging me?" He said aware of his closeness.  
"Not at all, but I would be very happy if you take it that way. You're great when you take things seriously, American Gangster." He laughed.

The playful atmosphere was suddenly forgotten, Ash could see himself in the reflection of those innocent black eyes. His breath got caught in the back of his throat, he was laughing in a bed with his favorite person in the world and suddenly his heart wanted to say something.

"Eiji?"  
"Yes?"  
"I'm not sure I deserve to say this, but, if I wasn't so broken, I think I would be able to..."

The Japanese waited patiently, knowing exactly what he wanted to say, but at the frustration of the green-eyed, he simply took his hands, kissing his knuckles with adoration.

"Ash, I love you too."

The air locked in his lungs once more, surprised.

"It's okay if you can't say it, I know it's difficult for you to recognize the things you feel in this state. Life has been very unfair to my destined person, isn't it?"

Tears of emotion began to fall from the beautiful green eyes without being able to stop it, his heart could not believe how beloved he was, he could not stand the sweetness that the Japanese gave him so selflessly.

"No, it's not like that. Because right now, I can hold the person that matters most to me."

"When I'm with Ash, I'm so happy I could die ..."

"Eiji ..."  
"Yes?"  
"Can we?"  
"Can we...?"  
"Try...like in the movie ..."  
"Try what?" Eiji Said sounding higher and more out of air than he wanted. "I-I mean, K-k-kissing or going b-beyond?"  
"I want everything, even it's just today. I want you" The blond answered caressing his cheek, looking him directly in the eyes.  
"Oh, are you sure? I must warn you that I have no experience."  
"If it's with you, yes. Regardless of anything, I want to try."  
"How do you prefer it to happen?" Eiji whispered like a secret.  
"Either way is fine."  
"No, I want you to decide, I want to make sure."  
"Can you hold me?"  
"Until the last of my days, Ash."

The blond placed himself on top of the Japanese, sitting on his crotch, which slowly began to awaken from the contact. "Is someone eager?" He chuckled still, wiping away the tears as he rubbed himself in a swinging motion against the Japanese.

"I-I can not help it"- He groaned helplessly under him.  
"Hmmm~ Even Ei-chan is a man after all," He said in a sing-song voice, gently thrusting both groins.  
"You're also one, Ash." The embarrassed Japanese defended himself. "Ah! I can feel it."

Ash's movements were slow and controlled, his hands tracing the Japanese's chest with the same rhythm that his hips caressed him, leaving a few minutes of silence, adorned by slight gasps and occasional grunts.

The blond ventured to bite the upper area of his lover's ears, licking the skin with sensuality, feeling as his body was held, adored with gentle caresses on his back and hips.

The Japanese watched him with semi-closed eyelids, his brain felt almost drunk with the attentions he was receiving. It was in that moment of weakness that things got tense.

"-You are beautiful Ash." It escaped from his lips without breath.

The boy eyes slowly darkened and his mind fled from the old apartment, remembering how many people had said those words before abusing him, how many people had seen him as an object for his use, suddenly he was 12 years old again, he was afraid and crying while trembling, waiting for a new client.

"Blonde and green eyes, a rare piece for sale." He muttered stopping, looking at the emptiness, as if Dino was in the room. He knew that Eiji was not like the others, but also the memories were uncontrollable on moments like this...

The voice of the Japanese brought him back to reality.

"Ash..." He murmured caressing his cheek. "You have been able to survive every hell on your life and your heart continues pure, no matter how many times you have had to carry a gun, your soul is beautiful, all of you is beautiful, I would love if you could see yourself how I do, love."

The blonde looked at him with crystallized eyes, returning from that nightmare, feeling the Japanese's hands resting on his heart with love, feeling his rapid and heavy heartbeats charged with emotion.

"Just now, you remembered something horrible, didn't you?"  
"I..."  
"It's okay to feel pain, Ash. It reminds us that we are still human, it reminds us that we are still alive."

His chest contracted involuntarily. When he was by Eiji's side his emotions intensified and he lost control. He felt so loved and happy, he wanted to cry, to kiss him, to be free by his side.

Eiji's scent was different from those horrible men, the warmth of his body and his gentle touch was also, everything was so different that he felt his heart contract for the new experience that meant being genuinely loved.

He could even feel desire for him, a desire to hold on so tightly that he was afraid to face the feeling he had despised for so long.

Want.

The younger one leaned with some violence on his friend, more precisely, need. Joining his lips with fierceness, cradling his face as a desperate way of not depolarizing the now. He had to concentrate on him, He had to concentrate on a future next to the boy he loved so much.

He placed his lips clumsily, eager for the heat of the Japanese, who gasped in surprise, but responded to the touch timidly, slowly purring of happiness, the blond could feel how he smiled in the middle of the kiss, melting his heart.

He wanted to continue taking the initiative by licking his closed lips, asking for access, just like in prison, caressing the inside of his cavity with erotic sensuality, giving certain licks and sucking his tongue to himself.

Eiji felt his lips begin to swell, they were rough kissing, possessive, full of wetness and uncontrolled passion, even more dominant than the shared on prison, Ash was shamelessly riding him and he loved it.

  "Ah! Ash!" He moaned as he thrashed his hips in inertia, unable to restrain himself from the new sensations that caused fireworks inside him, blushing furiously at the sound of his own desperate voice.

  "Uh? Eiji still does not know how to kiss ~?" He laughed without malice, seeing proudly the thread of saliva that connected them.

"O-of course not, idiot. We haven't practiced." He defended with a breathless pout and eyes half-closed, shining with shameless lust.

The American took him for the shirt with a huge smile, both tender and seductive.

"You are in danger talking to me that way, onii-chan. Now I want to devour you even more."

"Maybe it's what I want." The Japanese muttered feigning innocence. Posing one of his fingers on his lips.

Ash continued to kiss him hungrily, stroking his hair and back with each hand. Memorizing each one of his muscles, he felt a pleasant ardor in his groin every time he touched the Japanese's erection, he had become greedy of his body and that was drowning him. His chest burned to become one with the man he loved and forget the past or at least have peace with it.

Eiji held Ash's hips in desperation, moaning helplessly, seeking more friction between his clothed erections.

The rhythm had become slow and intense, the rolling of Ash's hips was delicious and measured, attacking at the points where Eiji felt more vulnerable, adding the wet and slow kisses it was evident that Eiji wouldn't last long, as his movements began to pace without him wanting it.

"Eiji, wait. Stop." Ash moaned, posing one of his hands on the chest of the athlete.

The older man released him as if suddenly burned, distressed.

"I'm sorry, I do not know very well how I should do this. Could you tell me if you do not like something? Did I bother you?"

 The Japanese seemed as worried as someone who is about to cry, the blond was not sure if it was for his first time or because he didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, but both reasons seemed adorable to his judgment.

"It's not like that, just ... I want to taste you ... It would be a waste if your clothes get ruined..." He whispered, with a fine finger, delineating his erection inside his underwear.

"T-taste me?" He asked blushing and slightly confused by the audacious gesture.

"Maybe I should teach onii-chan some things I can do with my tongue first?"

"A-are you sure-? Oh!"

The blond's teeth had attacked his jaw, biting and sucking on the sensitive skin of his neck, licking it later as an apology.

Their clothes began to interfere, his delicate pale fingers being effective for removing the white shirt that Eiji was wearing, leaving his beautiful slim torso at his disposal.

Ash attacked directly to his clavicles, bruising the beautiful pale skin of the Asian. Once it was fully marked, swollen and reddish, he came down to lick his nipples, causing the Japanese nails to bury hard on his back, arching desperately to his touch.

He sucked and licked tirelessly at the torso of his beloved until he reached the front of his pants, where a stain of wetness greeted him with embarrassment.

The gangster laughed boldly at the scene, wishing the older one got even wetter under his attention.

He kissed his clothed erection with impudence and looked at him straight in the eyes, his feline sigh full of dangerous elegance. It took all the self-control that the eldest possessed not to ruin his underwear.

  "Ash, wait. You do not have to-" He cried trying to push him from the area  
"But I want, Eiji. I want you. "He reinforced by licking a straight line, hot and wet, making his aching hardness throb. 

His slender fingers brushed the Japanese's pants apart in a clean movement, leaving his member to come out in one pop, swinging in front of his eyes.

His penis was thin and the length was more than acceptable, his skin was beautiful, pale and dripping pre-cum. He still had a half hard on, so he knew he could grow more.

His belly shuddered, for the first time his libido woke up so aggressively for someone, the view was delicious.

"Ash? Ash? I know it's not impressive ... Don't tease me please-"  
"You look delicious..." He mumbled with his mouth open and his voice raspy with lust.

Immediately and as if coming out of the trance, he entered the full length in his wet cavity, welcoming the pulsing limb to the back of his throat.

"Shit!" Eiji growled under his breath, his accent getting thick.

The heat that Ash was providing was exquisite, wet and burning. The Japanese resisted with all his might to attack his throat, but his friend tried to torture him, inviting him to hold his head, to entangle his fingers in the blond hair to guide the rhythm.

"What's wrong, Ei~chan?" He murmured, slowly removing his hard member from his mouth, but keeping a thin thread of saliva attached to his lips.

"Can I?" He mumbled awkwardly, trying to mimic the grip he wanted to get.

"If another one pulled my hair I would break his teeth..." He murmured as if evaluating the situation. "But if it's you ... I think it would even be good for you."

Ash's lips came up to kiss Eiji's glans, sucking it gently, causing an uncontrollable spasm in the body of the Japanese, who entangled his fingers in part of the blond strands.

"Now you're being honest, Ei-chan."

The blonde licked from the base to the tip, licking in a heavy and scratchy way, taking his time to burn every texture in his tongue and mind. Alternating slow pumping at both the tip and the entire phallus.

He felt so aroused that he had lost control, Eiji's scent, his soft moans, the way he closed his eyes and his eyebrows arched with pleasure, wanted to give him everything and make him happy. He wanted everything from him.

He pumped his head up and down, caressing part of his testicles with care, increasing the speed of his licking when he felt the member shudder, Eiji would come soon.

"Ah! Ash! You have to stop! I-I'll!" He tried to warn with tears in his eyes.

The blond smiled holding tight to his hips, looking him directly in the eyes, and swallowing the pulsating member completely in his throat, causing his beloved to end with a single thrust, so intense and pleasurable that he had to cover his mouth not to scream, feeling as his eyes rolling back his head and his mind went completely white.

He could feel his seed in the back of his throat and swallowed it all without thinking of its taste. He kept pumping greedily until his lover's body seemed to lose strength completely due to overstimulation, falling against the mattress without being able to contain himself.

The orgasm had hit him so hard that he seemed to be falling asleep.

"Good night, Eiji." The blonde mumbled, licking his lips, stroking his mate cheek with love.

"W-wait, wait," he murmured, breathing hard as he held that hand, fighting to overcome the daze. "I'm sorry for that, I-I never...I-that was so-" His eyes avoided looking at him, changing the topic. "Almost falling asleep, was rude. This is for us, it's not just about me, Ash."

He took his face gently bringing him close to his forehead, caressing the chin and jaw of the caucasian delicately.

"What should I do to make you feel good now?"

Ash's eyes stared at him incredulously, as if he had forgotten he could choose.

"Would you keep kissing me?"

Eiji's eyes widened in surprise at the innocence of the request, but he understood, it was painful, but he understood the blond's need.

"Where?" He murmured with a sweet smile

"D-don't make me say it, pervert."

"Communication it's important."

The gangster seemed to think it for a few seconds, embarrassed, but determined.

"Everywhere, I want you to leave marks. I want everyone to see it, I want to see it tomorrow."

The Japanese felt the blush grow up to his ears, he would do it for Ash. He would be the lover he deserved, would strive to make him feel good.

He tried awkwardly to imitate the movements that had previously felt by the boy's hands, removing his clothes with trembling fingers. He kissed his collarbones and licked occasionally with some shame, his face was so red that it was likely that the blonde felt the heat on his skin.

"Don't stop looking at me, okay?" He said making sure that the blonde didn't get lost in bad memories.

Eiji took an experimental bite in his neck, earning a hoarse groan from Ash that had gone straight to his growing erection. He understood why making love was addictive for people. Having the boy groaning for his touch was wonderful, he wanted him to feel this kind of pleasure without guilt or ghosts, he wanted to teach him about love, he wanted to hold him and be held by him.

Slowly, Eiji went down to his pectorals, where confused, gave an experimental lick to the pink nipples, causing Ash to arch.

"That was...good?" Asked doubtful.  
"It's not my favorite place, but I want your lips everywhere. It feels great, Eiji." He clarified pampering his cheeks and placing a soft kiss on his lips, reassuring him.  
"O-okay"

Eiji guided his trembling fingers across the blond's abdomen, caressing his abs just in the way he already taught him. He kissed his way to the erection over his lover clothes. Licking timidly and hurried.

His beautiful innocent black eyes looked at him confused and Ash's patience was cut thinly.

"Eiji, I think I want it." He breathed trying not to sound as desperate as he felt.  
"What do you want?"  
"You, inside me."  
"Ash ..."

Eiji's tone changed to a concerned one, clearly not wanting to bring back bad memories.

"This time, I want to choose and I want to choose you. Would that be selfish?" Ash asked helplessly.  
"Of course not, love" He murmured kissing his hands "If you no longer want it, I'll not be selfish either."  
"Really?"  
"Of course"

Ash settled on the mattress with flushed cheeks, supported his knees, separating them slowly and lifted his hips, pressing his face against the mattress, only exposing his underwear and waiting for the Japanese to tear it away.

"Ash?" Eiji murmured confusedly.  
"Yes?" He whispered expectantly.  
"Can we ...?" He hesitated. "Uh, do it like the couple in the movie? I want to see your face while we do it."

Ash's heart skipped a beat, he felt inexperienced and nervous again, the older one did not stop surprising him. "Come here, love."

Eiji smiled with blushed cheeks, settling between Ash's legs, brushing away what was left of the cloth delicately, kissing every new part he saw of his lover skin.

"Thank you." He murmured kissing him chastely.

Ash brought one of his fingers to his own entrance, slightly moaning at the discomfort of the position.

Eiji licked his hand with shame, his basic knowledge on the subject came from the adult films and could hardly count as knowledge in earnest.

He took advantage of his recent ecstasy as a lubricant, hoping it was enough. They had not planned things, but he would be as gentle as he could.

"Let me do it for you." He asked timidly, stopping the hand of his lover.  
"You know how?" The blond laughed.  
"I-I'm an adult!"  
"Yup, you have no idea..."  
"Not exactly..."  
"It's okay, I'll help you."

Slowly he fingered Ash, following his instructions, stimulating his walls with slow circles, feeling his heat, his humidity. He moved his phalanges carefully, beginning to look for that place where his beloved would explode from pleasure.

"Eiji...Eiji" He groaned helpelessy, shuddering.

Two and three fingers followed the first one, trying to take all the necessary time, Eiji's patience being rewarded by the blonde's moans, who seemed on the verge of madness, moving desperately in search of more.

"Eiji ... I want you inside, please. I can't wait anymore." He whispered feverishly feeling his sweet spot discovered. Grinding his hips hard against the fingers of the Japanese, who touched him with vehemence.

"Here I go, love," he muttered leaving his hand to hold those whitish thighs. Kissing the silky skin with infinite patience.

He stayed a few seconds in front of the North American, inspecting his heavy breathing, his beautiful blushed cheeks, and his wrecked wet appearance, it was a beautiful work of art, made merely with his kisses.

When he didn't perceive doubts, Eiji approached towards its body, the tip of the Japanese slid against the entrance slowly, without fully penetrating it, both trembling in a moaning disaster, anticipating the intense sensation.

Eiji entered carefully, making sure not to hurt his beloved, who seemed to struggle to breathe, overwhelmed by the feeling of becoming one, it was hot and intense, too good to be true, he felt he would lose his head at any moment.

Once the length entered completely, Eiji's voice was interrupted.

"Should I move?"  
"N-no, stop," Ash asked distressed.  
"Okay love," Eiji said without any resistance, ready to follow the younger's orders.  
"I'm sorry" He murmured in anguish, covering his face "I'm afraid Eiji, I'm so afraid of ruining everything."  
"I love you, Ash, do you want me to come out? I'll do it. Do you want me to come out, love?" He repeated, sweetly.  
"N-no, I just need a moment."He closed his eyes, breathing heavily, trying to record in his memory the feeling of the man inside him, trying to calm down, trying to feel safe while intimate because he wanted it, he was loved and deserved it.

"Everything is fine...You're safe, Ash." Eiji mumbled as if guessing his nightmares.

He covered his face with kisses, removing the beautiful golden hair, caressing her cheekbones with adoration, slightly tickling him, repeating words of love and understanding, promising to wait for him all his life, promising to give his whole if that made him happy.

"It's Eiji, it's Eiji."

"If it's Eiji, everything will be fine."

"Eiji is my home, my safe space."

New tears came out violently from his chest, he felt like loved for the first time, his body didn't reject Eiji, contrary, he wanted to continue. It was so wonderful not to feel guilty that he felt that his heart could hold that new feeling.

"Ash...Ash...Aslan. What's wrong my dear? Are you okay?"  
"I love you, Eiji." He murmured smiling. "Is it okay if I hug you?"  
"Of course it is"

Eiji lowered his torso, being surrounded by the blonde's legs, he could also feel his arms sliding over him, his thin fingers running down his shoulder blades, delineating his spine with adoration.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, professing all the love they tacitly felt, the words between them had never been necessary, although saying them felt incredibly well.

"I love you" they repeated to each other in a low voice and between caresses, getting used to the wonderful feeling of being one.

Eiji's thrusts were slow and inexperienced, timid. Worrying about every reaction on the face of his beloved, who moaned low, like meowing at the new sensation.

"Ash, does it feel good?"  
"I still do not know..." He mumbled frustrated, trying to focus on his beloved's face instead of his thoughts.  
"Do you want to stop?"  
"No ... From now on, when I think of someone touching me, I just want to remind you, is that okay? "

Eiji kissed him trying to calm him, attempting to erase every bad memory, knowing that it would be impossible, but at least he could help create new ones, touching him with love and patience, adoring his body as if worshiping a sacred temple that deserved to return to its past glory.

The blond was beautiful and he had to learn it, he was worthy of the purest love, of the most intense pleasure.

"You can move faster, love." He allowed finally, tearing up a little.

Without Eiji looking for it in his new thrusts, he brushed the point inside the blonde who was destined to make him explode with pleasure, causing him to arch over his back, confused by the electric current that ran through him. His breathing became forced and he tried to cover his face with shame, moaning under his breath, he felt his cheeks burn and his beautiful erection bounced hard against his stomach, red and swollen, desperate for attention.

"There?"  
"Ah ... f-faster"  
"I'll go faster!"  
"Eiji, stop talking or I promise you will be the one to bite the pillow next time."  
"You say it like it's something that would bother me, pretty boy."

They both laughed for a few seconds, breaking the sensual atmosphere that had been created, until a new thrust in the prostate caused Ash to arch himself even higher, moaning in surprise.

Eiji held her hips in a new angle and set a more defined rhythm, going from being slow and certain to fast, passionate. Having a single objective to provoke the orgasm of his beloved, abusing with love of his walls, feeling embraced by his heat.

"Eiji...Eiji...my Eiji..." He whispered eagerly, gasped, probably without being conscious, delirious with pleasure.  
"Yours and no one else." He answered softening his voice full of desire, kissing the inside of his thighs, which now surrounded his shoulders. The athlete completed the trust with circular strokes in his lover aching member, sending them to a rapid hormonal cusp.

The blond's moans called him, his insides cried out to him, both were close, moving desperate and lost in the most primitive love dance.

"Eiji!"  
"Aslan"

The legs of the blonde suddenly fell to his hips, hugging him tightly as he felt his climax approaching, pressing his heels against the back of the Japanese, it was impossible that his release was elsewhere different from the inside of the American.

They kissed for the last time, silencing their orgasms on each other's lips, holding each other until their minds went white unison.

Eiji fell exhausted on his lover, unable to continue, panting in a vulnerable way in the chest of his lover, feeling as his seed filled his interior to the last drop, causing a sensation both incredibly pleasurable and guilty. He watched the blonde cry like a baby in his arms, moved, clinging to him as his last thread of life.

"I'm sorry Ash! Did it hurt? I should have left before..."  
"I'm very happy," He said still touched but smiling, reassuring Eiji. That he could understand what kind of feelings were bubbling in his chest.

Freedom, even for a few minutes, had escaped pain and trauma, melting into his own desires. He had won the battle to his ghosts, it was one step closer to the hope of recovery.

"I am too. I hope I have not been very bad."  
"Stop talking, onii-chan. I want you to spoil me."

Eiji watched the boy's face beneath him, his beauty looked more vulnerable than ever, his pupils dilated, eyes crystallized, his hair messy and his lips swollen, his skin flushed, marked by his kisses. he looked radiant, full.

"You were so passionate back there. Tomorrow will hurt." Ash said dramatically, trying to ignore Eiji's face.  
"What? I did not do it well? I tried to be cool, I promise. It was my first time! Please forgive me!"  
"I was kidding, I feel perfect" He laughed in a sing-song voice still with the Japanese inside. "I think I might even let you repeat it if you stop cooking those horrible breakfasts." His finger ran across the older man's chest flirty.  
"I do it for your health, you ungrateful American" He laughed lightly hitting his nose.

Both pretended annoyance, but could not help laughing between sweet kisses looking into each other's eyes.

The fatigue suddenly took hold of both of them, happiness and bliss post orgasm began to slowly drag them to the sweet unconsciousness, their love being the reason for so much joy.

It was not a warranty to happen again, eliminate such a horrendous trauma wasn't easy, but the feeling of having been one would remain forever in their memories, overloading them with love.

Eiji caressed the hair of his lover with such adoration that he felt profane, he was answered with sweet kisses, Ash finishing the marking his work of art with bites. He fell asleep looking into his eyes, resting in his arms, with his heart and soul full.

Now they had nothing to envy the couple on television.

"By the way, you have a prettier dick than the actor in the movie," Ash commented half asleep, without any shame.  
"Shut up and sleep!" Eiji yelled tapping his nose.  
"Yeah, whatever you say, onii-chan~" He laughed hiding in his neck, deeply inhaling their combined scents, it was the first time that sweat and perfume gave him so much peace.

Tomorrow they would have a lot to clean up and explanations to give to their older neighbors, but nothing mattered as they dozed in the arms of the man they loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Indulgent lovemaking because I'm week and my boys deserve to feel loved. EijixAsh respecting Mom-Akemi thoughts.
> 
> I'm blushing hard. I hope you like it.  
> If anyone wants to help me about grammar I'll be honored ; ;  
> Thank you for reading my work!


End file.
